Joke Only (PG 18)

July 24
Ang Mga Tanga
Tanga 1: oi! pwedeng akyatin mo yung santol tapos pisilin mo para alam natin kung hinog na…
Tanga 2: Sige…
Tanga 1:Anu hinog na?
Tanga 2: OO!!
Tanga 1: Geh, baba ka na dito sungkitin na natin…
hahahah!!
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July 24
Sex is Like Math
Sex is like mathematics:
Add the bed, minus the lights, subtract the clothes, bring down the panty, divide the legs, be ready to multiply….
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Jinggoy at Erap Nagusap re:Viagra
Jinggoy: Dad totoo bang may side effect ang Viagra?
Erap…: Tanga, sa harap ang effect niyan hindi sa side.
==================
Miss Universe Q&A
The Setting:
Pageant Night Ms. Universe Beauty Pageant Q&A Portion.

The Finalists:
Miss America
Miss Spain
Miss Great Britain
Miss Iran
Miss India
Miss Philippines

Question: Ms. America, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms. America: Well, I would say that, male organs in America are like gentlemen.
Q: Why do you say that?
Ms. America: Because it stands everytime it sees a woman.
(Applause..Applause)

Q: Ms. Spain, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms. Spain: Male organs in our country are like toros in our very own bullfight.
Q: Why do you say that?
Ms. Spain: Because it charges everytime it sees an opening.
(Applause..Applause)

Q: Ms. Great Britain, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms. Great Britain: Male organs in our country are like Shakespearean actors.
Q: Why do you say that?
Ms. Great Britain: Because it cries after every performance.
(Applause..Applause)

Q: Ms. Iran, how would you describe a male organ in you country?
Ms. Iran: Well, I can say that male organs in our country are like thieves.
Q: Why? Ms. Iran: Because they always enter thru the back door.
(Applause..Applause)

Q: Ms. India, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms. India: A male organ in our country is like a laborer.
Q: Why do you say that?
Ms. India: Because it works day and night.
(Applause..Applause)

Q: Ms. Philippines, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms. Philippines: Ahh..well, opcors, hi,hi,hi…I can say dat male organs in our country are like chismis!
Q: Chismis?
Ms. Philippines: Ayy sorry!!..It’s ano.. Kuwan… It means GOSSIP in our language.
Q: Hmm.. Interesting comparison.. And why do you say that?
Ms. Philippines: Ayy..diyahe!! Hihihi, Kasi… I mean… Because…it passes from mouth to mouth.
(STANDING OVATION)
===========================
Naka-isa si Johnny Baby

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office,
but she belonged to someone else…

FunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) – SridhaR

One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to
her and said, “I’ll give you a $300 if you let me
screw you. But the girl said NO.

FunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) – SridhaR

Johnny said, “I’ll be fast. I’ll throw the money on
the floor, you bend down, and I’ll be finished by the
time you pick it up. “

FunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) – SridhaR

She thought for a moment and said that she would have
to consult her boyfriend… So she called her
boyfriend and told him the story.

FunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) – SridhaR

Her boyfriend says, “Ask him for $500, pick up the
money very fast, he won’t even be able to get his
pants down.”

FunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) – SridhaR

So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour
goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his
girlfriend to call.

FunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) – SridhaR

Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and
asks what happened.

FunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) – SridhaR

She responded, “The bastard used coins!”

FunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) – SridhaRFunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) – SridhaRFunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) – SridhaRFunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) – SridhaRFunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) – SridhaRFunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) – SridhaRFunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) – SridhaRFunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) – SridhaRFunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) – SridhaRFunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) – SridhaR

Management lesson: Always consider a business proposal
in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!

FunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) – SridhaR FunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) – SridhaRFunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) – SridhaR